Tuesday, February 23, 2016
Sunday, February 21, 2016
Here We ARE! Becoming a Guardian of 3+
On January 6, 2016 our family of three became a family of
four with a new 6 month old addition placed in our home through CPS. We were then asked to be fictive kin to two
more little ones on January 13, 2016 because the children who were siblings
would be separated and put into the system if we could not take them. Our family became six quite quickly! I have heard the horror stories about foster
care and other types of placements. One
of the biggest things I heard and continue to hear about is those individuals
who do it only for the “money”. Let me
clarify something real quick. Our
situation is not considered a “foster care” placement meaning there are no
monthly “payments”, financial responsibility is on the shoulders of our
family. There are one time payments
available called kinship funds that are allowed for a “sibling group” but it
can only be used once and if another placement occurred before hand then those
funds are no longer available. One of
the children are related to us way down the family tree and the other two are
related to the baby but not us by blood, because of this situation they are
considered “fictive kin”. Blood or not
makes no never mind to me regardless as those three kiddos are ours for however
long they allow us to care for them. I
am learning so many new things with all this going on and still feel quite
lost! If you have ever been a part of a
CPS case you know how in the dark you truly are and how little rights you and
the children truly have.
These
babies range from now 7 months to 9 years of age. The older kiddos have so many issues that
require counseling from the actions of their family that it feels me with
loathing. I am a spiritual person but I
tell you if I could shake some sense into the parents I would happily do so but
it wouldn’t make one whit of difference.
They know how to work the system, manipulation comes so very easily to
them that if there were medals to be given out they would win the gold. The parents are not individuals who have been
wrongly accused or those who follow the programs to gain their children back
and stick to it to become good, loving and responsible parents; these are folks
who have done this numerous times. One
in fact has been through the CPS process more than 5 times! None of the adults involved have truly made
the choice to put their children before themselves or their wants and
addictions. I could go on and on but the
fact is the law is still set up more to benefit reunification between parent(s)
than the safety and welfare of the children and their mental health! These babies will most likely be reunified
with a parent or parents only to be tossed back into the system once the
parent(s) no longer have anyone to answer to.
A little about the sweethearts we have in our family! The 7 month old is sweet, active, teething,
safe (for now) and well adjusted. She loves music and anything she can put in
her mouth! She was put into CPS custody at less than 2 months old suffering
from a urinary tract infection that was so severe it took months of treatment
for recovery. An elder woman cared for
her and her siblings until I was brought in January of 2016. This baby has a chance to have a healthy,
loving, safe, mentally sound and stable life if she isn’t tossed around from
place to place and given to people who will put themselves first instead of her
well-being. The 4 year old is full of energy and a bit of a handful as she has
not truly had any stability and consistency. The four year old loves her baby
dolls! The oldest is a sweet girl who internalizes so much. She loves to bake and play using her
imagination. All three girls are lovely and unique!
As our
family has grown we find ourselves struggling to stretch a budget that fit
three into a larger one to accommodate the needs of 6 but we are doing our very
best to stay afloat! Keep us in your
prayers! Apparently, there is a way to
become licensed to foster/adopt but the process is quite long and time
consuming especially with a household of our size. I am in the process of going through this but
it is slow going. Another thing, they
have so many types of inspections for the home and then give you a list of
things we will need to update or add with no help to accomplish such
tasks! It makes you wonder how I raised
two sons so well with so many things wrong with our home! If anyone could just point me in the right
direction as to assistance programs to fix whatever they throw at me I would
feel so much better! No wonder there is
such a need for families for kiddos, it is a mountain of work and extras needed
just to qualify! My house isn’t a dump
but it isn’t the Ritz either! I haven’t
had the time to even continue in my own business at even half the speed as I
used to go but I am hoping I will be able to carve out more time for my online
business once things settle down a bit more, I have been working from home
since 1999 and do not want to give up on a source of income that has helped us
all these years! I was told that once
licensed there is a small stipend to help with the expenses for the children we
care for so that is kind, providing I ever afford all they say needs to be done
in order to become licensed. In the meantime I will keep going as we are and
last as long as I can in caring for these babies.
Friday, February 19, 2016
Monday, February 1, 2016
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